Lorrha Notes

               Lorrha’s next generation of hurlers enjoying the summer camp last week in Motefield..
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In preparation for the Eucharistic Congress 2012 adoration will take place every Saturday afternoon in the Parochial House Lorrha from 3.00 to 4.00p.m. On the first Saturday of the month it will be in St. Ruadhan’s Church. All parishioners are invited to watch and pray with the Lord.
The Youth 2000 summer festival in Clonmacnois will take place from Thursday 4th to Sunday 7th August 2011. All those aged between 16 and 35 is invited. For more information contact (085) 8289231 or (01) 6753690 or book on line at www.youth2000.ie

Lost.

A watch was lost in Lorrha village on Friday July 22nd. If anyone finds please contact Fr. Pat.

A Close Shave For Blackbeard

You may have noticed a dark bearded gent in the vicinity in the last couple of months. It’s none other than John Hoctor and THAT beard is coming off at a fundraiser on Friday 29th July in Kelly’s Rathcabbin. The money raised will buy materials to build a school in South Africa by www.streetwisebuildings.com. Brian Hourican will be playing (Slievenamon) and there’s rumour of a BBQ. There will be an auction on the night of turf and other goodies and a raffle of prizes donated by local businesses such as Breda O Meara pharmacy Lalors and Comerfords Hassetts among others. There is also something about the landlady and leg wax? come along on Friday for the craic – your support will be greatly appreciated.

Photograph’s Required.

Lorrha Development Association are looking for suitable photograph’s for the 2012 parish calendar. If you think your photograph’s would be suitable for the calendar and you are willing to loan them for possible use please call Mary at (090) 9747972 Louis at (086) 8493595 Rose at (086) 8647166 or any member of the committee. All photographs will be returned to their owners.

Looking For Relatives.

Bill Hanrahan of Co. Meath is trying to trace his Mannion and Gaynor relatives. Patrick Mannion married Mary Gaynor in the parish of Lorrha in 1839. They had nine children of which there was one set of twins Catherine and William who were born on 27th. May 1855. Bill’s “Flannery” relatives are from Nenagh. If you think you can help Bill you can contact him by phone at (041) 9827327 by post at 17 The Cloisters Eastham Road Bettystown Co. Meath or by email to captbillhanrahan@eircom.net

Come Dancing.

Dancing continues in the newly extended Lorrha GAA clubhouse on Friday night with Brian McDermott providing the entertainment and the organisers would love to see you there.

St. Ruadhan’s Active Retirement Association.

On Thursday 22nd July some of our members travelled to Limerick to try our luck and watch the horse racing. We enjoyed the wonderful hospitality offered by Limerick Racecourse and their staff Amy O’Regan Russell Ferris and the catering Manager Dave Fitzgerald. What a very entertaining evening we had which included a great dinner and refreshments. If only the horses we picked could have got up a bit of speed. The evening was like all our outings a huge success. Next outing is next Thursday which includes a walk in Portumna Forest Park weather permitting followed by a meal afterwards in the Golf Club. Should anyone require any further meeting or wish to join us please contact Nancy on 087 761 3458 or 090 9747922.
Our committee and members would like to express our deepest sympathy to the Hoctor Family on the recent death of Jack Hoctor Cloughjordan. May he rest in peace.

Irish Workhouse Centre.

The centre in Portumna is open seven days a week 9.30a.m. to 6.00p.m. until the end of August. No booking required. 163 workhouses were built in Ireland from 1840 to 18.53. If your family was starving to death your last resort was the workhouse. All admission fees go towards the project. Adults E5 seniors/students E 3 familiesE12. Phone (090) 9759200 or visit www.irishworkhousecentre.ie

Put ‘Em Under Pressure.

Sharon Newman Audience Researcher is working on a brand new RTE sports quiz show Put ‘Em Under Pressure which will air on Sunday evenings in September on RTE 1 and she is looking for sports teams for the audience. Sharon wants to see if there is interest from sports clubs etc. in North Tipperary. The show itself sees two teams of famous sports stars and pundits go head-to-head in this entertaining sports quiz. Consisting of 8 episodes the quiz show will be filmed in studio in RTE in Donnybrook from the 8th to the 11th of August in front of an audience each day. For this Sharon is looking to get sports teams clubs and supporters groups on board from noth just North Tipperary but right around the country to join the audience in each episode. The clubs give their own representation through this by wearing their club or team colours crests sporting attire etc (something representative of what you do). The show is going to be entertaining and fun and will be a great day out for teams interested. She also want a good mix of sports involved so whether the team or group consists 5 or 50! As the show is being filmed in early August and places are limited she would like to hear from teams as soon as possible who may be interested and would like more information. Sharon can be contacted at any time on sharon.newman@shinawil.com or 01 2084646/ Direct Line: 01 208 4646 / Main Line: 01 208 3111 or by post at Montrose House RTÉ Donnybrook Dublin 4.

5 Day Weather Forecast

Today Tuesday 26th. July

Cloudy at first today with patches of mist and drizzle in many places. These will generally clear through the morning and most places will be dry from the afternoon onwards. Warm and close again today with highest temperatures of 18 to 20 degrees and light winds.
Tonight

Misty conditions will re-occur tonight but otherwise the night will be dry with lowest temperatures of 12 or 13 degrees.
Tomorrow

Outbreaks of light rain will gradually spread eastwards during tomorrow.

Outlook

The last of the rain will clear from the east coast early on Thursday morning and it will be dry everywhere from then onwards with nice sunshine developing. It will be a fairly warm day with highest temperatures of 17 to 19 degrees and light north-easterly breezes. Friday will also be a very good day in most parts of the country with warm sunshine and highest temperatures of 19 or 20 degrees. The only ‘bad weather’ on Friday will occur along the Leinster coast where it will be cooler and cloudier at times with occasional showers. Warm dry and sunny everywhere on Saturday with temperatures up to 22 degrees in the middle of the country. It will still be very good for Sunday over the eastern half of Ireland. For more western parts of Munster Connacht and Donegal Sunday will be a cloudier day with rain at times. The weather will continue to remain dry during Bank Holiday Monday for most parts of the country.

Smile Awhile.

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.

He gets into the taxi and the cabbie says ‘Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.’

Passenger: ‘Who?’

Cabbie: ‘Frank Feldman… He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.’

Passenger: ‘There are always a few clouds over everybody.’

Cabbie: ‘Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you
should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.

Passenger: Sounds like he was something really special.

Cabbie: ‘There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything.
Not like me. I change a fuse and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right.’

Passenger: ‘Wow some guy then.’

Cabbie: ‘He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank he never made a mistake and he really knew how to treat a
woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate shoes highly polished too – He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.’

Passenger: ‘An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?’

Cabbie: ‘Well I never actually met Frank he died and I married his flippin wife.
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A man enters an elevator and a beautiful blonde says to the man "T G I F"
The blonde haired beauty didn’t get a reponse from the man
The woman once again says T G I F" again no response from the man
Once again the woman says to the man "T G I F" it means Thank God its Friday
The man turns around to the woman and says "S H I T"
The blonde says "S H I T" what does that mean?
The man responds "S H I T " Sorry Honey its Thursday

Many thanks indeed to all of you for the smile awhile jokes. Please do remember though we have young readers on this site. It’s great to know so many of you enjoy the weekly jokes.